Venting

I was on the phone with one of my beautiful GOD-sisters the other night on the verge of laughing, crying, and consoling at the same time. Laughing because her situation so desperately resembled mine that no other reaction suited. Crying because it is such a stressful state to be in, and I know GOD never intended for HIS children to feel such intense stress (credit that madness to the devil himself). And consoling because I am an empathetic person by nature (especially when it comes to family), and I would have hugged her for days had I been in the same area.
As her heart poured out about the level of anxiety she was experiencing advice came rushing out of mine to keep her afloat. Some of the things I was saying initially entered my mind (I'd like to think from GOD) to calm myself down and to remember that I am on an irrational Earth to serve a super-natural GOD...why am I so worried about "rational decisions..?" Everyone knows a college student, or is one themselves, and it is impossible to deny the adversity associated with surviving successfully during these times. But, if I remove myself from under that weight for a moment, I begin to wonder...what does this stress disclose about my priorities..?
I have been telling my siblings and adopted international sisters for decades that GOD will not ask about their GPA, test scores, or sports stats when we arrive at Heaven's Gates...but HE will ask why we neglected our friendships, family, and community (be that local or global). I believe this is true with all my heart, but it strikes me as annoying and odd that my priorities (and correlating stress levels) do not match.
As I tried to reveal to my GOD-sister all that I see in her and the dreams of hope and joy I wish for her, my heart would have traded places to spare her the aggravation. I was using examples from my own life to share the ways GOD has taught me to value HIS unseen glory and humility more than the visible tapestries the world flaunts. I could almost hear the wheels grinding in her head through the silence on the phone, and it sounded all too familiar.
I imagine GOD feels this deep intense longing for HIS children to grasp HIS love and purpose for them, and since my brain is infinitely smaller than HIS than the ache in my heart must be too. As I discover the shade of color GOD uses to highlight things in my life I find immeasurable joy sharing these nuggets with my siblings, and I find it more and more annoying the number of ways the enemy distracts me daily. My GOD-sister's list of grievances isn't unique to her (although she is supremely unique); every college student would recognize it from a hundred yards and every adult could modify it slightly to fit their own life.
I wonder how much energy I am paying to the wrong cause. How much energy are my GOD-sister and I contributing to the devil's work..? Because anything made by GOD for GOD that is not used to GOD's glory is lost. On a larger scale, how much energy is the body of CHRIST losing towards HIS revolution..? Honestly, think about it, I am as much a part of this problem as anyone else...how much time, pounds, stress, anger, and tears are lost on priorities the devil pushed to the top of the list. How many lives have turned into work-aholics, exercise-addicts, physique-critics, and/or materialistic label snobs when those individuals are not really seeking those things. We all know that GOD is the only filler for a heart...that is in the design itself; but how quickly and painfully do we slip after so much as a whisper from the enemy.
I quote Wess Staford often because his words are wise and extremely observant. Too Small to Ignore is packed with wisdom that can be applied to many circumstances and millions of lives. He makes a statement in that book about poverty leading to a much worse disease called fatalism.
I believe that disease haunts Americans as much as it does the third world. Personally, AS SOON AS I begin to focus too much on the ridiculous details of this irrational world I begin to sink. My eyes lose sight of JESUS under the weight of unwanted, unneeded, unwelcome tasks and responsibility, and the life comes right out of me. Sleepless nights, stressful days, anxious thoughts, depressing feelings: FATALISM.
Fatalism of a different kind, but from the same creator. GOD ALMIGHTY is the creator of joy, peace, humility, salvation, LOVE, grace, etc. HIS adversary, in attempt to compete with HIM, made his own kingdom: Fatalism. It doesn't just eat the third world, it eats the first. It doesn't just swallow the sick, dying, or diseased, it swallows the arrogant, rich, and controlling. It doesn't drown those in lowly places, it also drowns those seemingly out of its reach (which may be where the expression "the world is tumbling down around me" came from).
So, I wonder, as I put myself back into the mix here: how much time have I spent venting to friends and family about a new job, living situation, school loans, passion for Africa, and love for family where my energy was rightfully placed. Did I, am I, missing something right now that GOD is doing because my eyes have fallen..?
I wonder...