"It seems, it only seems, that you went from parched to overflow in the blink of an eye"
Anne Lamott
At present I feel as full as they come, as though I could not fit another smile in my heart or on my face. GOD has provided what I see as the PERFECT combination of jobs for me, the best part being Crossroads Christian School! I LOVE it; I could not imagine a more perfect setting. A wonderful staff of Christians who love the LORD and the kids we serve. And oodles of young minds to challenge and inspire. The experience is perfect training for my time abroad (and at home come to think of it). I have a strong desire to connect with teenagers because it was at 16yrs that GOD reached out and shook my hand. So I am very thankful for my new job, and I LOVE everyday.
Heart 4 Africa is exploding with ideas, prayers, answers. "'Help' is a prayer that is always answered" (Anne Lamott), and the H4A team is finding that to be very true. We have wonderful partners contributing their time, skills, and connections to our cause of LOVE. It is such a blessing to have compassionate hearts join together, and I my heart has been steadily pouring over because of the bonds GOD is bringing.
My family, as expanded as it has become this year, feels so close. Like a can of anchovies (even though I don't like eating them)! Everybody knows that as you get older you become more appreciative of your family. I am no exception and this year did not skip me...I have been BLESSED in the family department. A WONDERFUL support system of open ears, arm, and hearts. And no matter who we reach out to (and suck into our crazy band) that foundation of openness never leaves. There are no favorites in my family, and no one gets left behind. I have an "aunt" in Japan who was once an exchange student in my parent's home when I was a baby. Now we get photos of her beautiful little girl (who is 6 now). I still email friends whom I have not seen in 2-4 years. And these people are my family for all intents and purposes...they support me, challenge me, inspire me, encourage me, correct me (creatively), and lift up my thoughts. All I can say to encompass my thoughts on family is that I have been BLESSED in this department.
But I know this is not the case for most citizens of this world. I got "the phone call from hell" this weekend. A friend of mine delivered the news that one of our angel-girls in Uganda lost her father this month. She is an ASTONISHING 13 year old, and my heart has been broken for her. When I heard the news it literally felt like someone squeezed the bottom of my heart and more water spilled over the top. She has been in my thoughts and on my heart, and I want to move her into yours. Her name is Tauba. We used to take walks (one of my favorite things to do in Uganda), and she would fill the time with stories, questions, dancing (and trying to convince me to dance), and flower-jewelry (she is REALLY good). Tauba is the walking version of 20 Questions with added extra features of love, laughter, and hugs! "Laughter is carbonated holiness" (Anne Lamott), and Tauba is full of it. Her heart freely overflows with this gift. This Christmas PLEASE pray for her. I cannot imagine the grief, stress, and loss she feels. If I were in her shoes I would run to family...so please help me be her family.
I don't want to end on a sad note (especially since it started out so great, and I still feel so full of life) so I will end with a few poetic pieces from Denise Levertov:
She did not cry, "I cannot, I am not worthy,"
Nor, "I have not the strength."
She did not submit with gritted teeth,
Raging, coerced.
Bravest of all humans,
Consent illumined her.
I love this because it highlights the difference between GOD forcing HIMSELF into our hearts (as many people feel HE does), and what happens when we let HIM in. This was written about Mary, and her response to the angel's overwhelming news, "you will be with child..." I LOVE it so much because it reminds me to let go of control over my life...GOD has it planned to perfection. I have everything to lose by withholding, and nothing to lose by letting go.
But we are told of meek obedience. No one mentions courage.
The engendering Spirit
did not enter her without consent.
I love how GOD's request for trust and faith in HIM always requires courage on our part. This is a different type of courage than I first thought of. Usually I hear the word courage and think of a gladiator (maybe with a spear and a shield and a bible in his butt pocket). Prior to this chunk of poetry I had not thought about the kind of courage that masquerades as trust and faith.
I also can't imagine the courage Tauba has inside her that GOD will ask her to turn over to HIM. My heart goes out to this little girl (on the left with Nakasinde, Charlene, and Moureen).
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